tired

Lifes been a mess really. Like how my house is always messy. Incredible how a person's habitat can reflect his life. Or is it the other way around?. No idea, im too tired to think. Actually more like i dont wana think. That way things can be done easier. Hopefully. Has its side effects though. Coz i cant eat or sleep, possibly due to the fact that my brain ceased to function. Its better that way. Its better or else things will get messier. Is there such a word? Messier?. Oh well it doesn reali matter does it?. People might b wondering y im starting to blog again, n not the usual songs too. Dont wry, il start writing them soon enough. Once my brain starts thinking again that is. Want me to tell you all something?. Im broke. Not as in ive got not much money, everyone suffers that. I mean inside, broken. Way broken. I know some of you wana know why, especially you kavitha, but i just cant say it now. I will, i promise, one day. I miss you kavitha. We reali need to go out. M i rambling?. Coz ive got no1 else to tell things to. No sry, scratch that, i do, but i cant, not now anyway. Why do things happen as they do?. There must b a reason for everything isn there?. Thats what i learnt. People break, so they can fix themselves up, so they wont break again. But to break just after uve fixed yourself, and harder than before, why?. My Lord, how stronger do you want me to be? Because right now, im not. Im weak you know. Kinda lost the will to fight. But You will find me wont You?. Im lost now. This isn me. So much is on the line. Find me, Father i need You.