I owe kavitha a post...it will come soon ok?..haha wait for it..dont worry il make sure i do it by this year..hahaha..no la i need to get out of my slacker brain not working mode first. i wana do it properly and not half baked that might happen if i tried it now, coz id wana come up wif smth that justifies my idol. Cant w8 to go out wif u kavitha.

i came up wif this one, coz i honestly think people dont realise how beautiful and amazing the earth is. And i wouldn have came up wif this if i dint promise shalania that id update my blog by today, so thanks shalania..haha

This is just part one i guess lol..i haven finished n i need to rewrite some lines.

The world is beautiful,
you just have to look up at the sky and see,
filled wif clouds u wish theyd fall,
so you can touch them, feel,
that bit of eternity,
so cast off those chains,
of misery,
lets be birds,
flying high and free,
no more worries,
its just you and me,
we can touch the sky,
if we ride this breeze,
while we ride, il tell u y,
the world's amazing,
coz u see,
from every mountain,
to every tree,
we share the same breath,
that whistles through the leaves,
its music joined by birds,
nature's symphony,
listen to it a while,
its the song of harmony and peace,
ur rage would fall away,
and desire would take a backseat,
so dont let ur thoughts get in the way,
but dont sleep,
we still have to ride, higher,
id like you to listen to a different beat,
can you hear?, thunder?,
God's music.

Godlover

back after a long long break

First, Thank You every1, for being here for me. To be a better person, one has to keep himself both mentally, n physically fit.. ive been neglecting both for a long time, and perhaps thats y lately things have bad for me. But ive had enough, reali its time i brought myself back.Come on, there r children walking tens, no hundreds of miles in africa for just a mouthful of water. If they can keep walking..y cant i?..

My first rap, in like after a thousand years..Just kidding, its just a few hundred. i reali dont know how it will turn out, i hope i still can make it good.

Honestly speaking,
i dont know wad to write,
coz in all this time ive been slacking,
my hair might have turned white,
so its time i started writing again,
to keep the rust in my head,
from settling in,
time i let the thoughts take flight,
its hard though, they seem,
to be clumped up tight,
so il do it slow, il do it right,
layer by layer, i break the walls outside,
to find my emotions slowly stirring in,
man this is hard, its like
in a haystack, im finding for a pin,
while i throw the dark away,
never to be wanted, never to be seen,
coz for too long,
my mind has been a clean slate,
that i couldn even see the dark lying in wait,
like a room filled with light too bright,
i couldn even see,
the dark growing inside of me,
it wasted my mind, bound me in fright,
but the light is now dimming,
my sight comes back brimming,
come demon, lets fight,
my will's stronger, it burns bright,
so lets go, its gona be a rough ride,
like a paper boat, in the highest tide,
but its how i will be, il no longer hide,
if i have to drown, i will knowing ive tried,
to find the pure , the white,
to find the cure, for,
the demon struggling inside,
till then demon,
come lets fight.

Godlover

tired

Lifes been a mess really. Like how my house is always messy. Incredible how a person's habitat can reflect his life. Or is it the other way around?. No idea, im too tired to think. Actually more like i dont wana think. That way things can be done easier. Hopefully. Has its side effects though. Coz i cant eat or sleep, possibly due to the fact that my brain ceased to function. Its better that way. Its better or else things will get messier. Is there such a word? Messier?. Oh well it doesn reali matter does it?. People might b wondering y im starting to blog again, n not the usual songs too. Dont wry, il start writing them soon enough. Once my brain starts thinking again that is. Want me to tell you all something?. Im broke. Not as in ive got not much money, everyone suffers that. I mean inside, broken. Way broken. I know some of you wana know why, especially you kavitha, but i just cant say it now. I will, i promise, one day. I miss you kavitha. We reali need to go out. M i rambling?. Coz ive got no1 else to tell things to. No sry, scratch that, i do, but i cant, not now anyway. Why do things happen as they do?. There must b a reason for everything isn there?. Thats what i learnt. People break, so they can fix themselves up, so they wont break again. But to break just after uve fixed yourself, and harder than before, why?. My Lord, how stronger do you want me to be? Because right now, im not. Im weak you know. Kinda lost the will to fight. But You will find me wont You?. Im lost now. This isn me. So much is on the line. Find me, Father i need You.

Scared

i fear very few things..maybe its coz i had to fight all my fears as i grew up..when i was young, i was a coward. I was scared of many things. Things like even how a normal ant bite can b poisonous. yeah i was a imaginative kid..i still m..but i saw things..i did things..things most people dont see..things that people wouldn believe..n i grew from all the experience..i won over my fears. i can honestly say i dont fear death. but rather i fear how il die. I dont wana die sick. thats one of my fears. Im also scared of centipedes. The tings r evil i tell u..onli evil creatures would have so many legs n try to bite u. im scared of dog's barking as well..dont ask me y..its just tat the sound freaks me out..not dogs mind u..im all for mute dogs. Sometimes, im scared that all my fears will come back..in other words, im scared of being afraid..of being a coward..but that fear hardly comes back anymore. Maybe coz i keep moving forward no matter wad. Coz i had to u see. We all have to. Even though i dont say, perhaps i m afraid for my family, n the tings they go through. I wana run away sometimes u know, not coz i hate them, but coz im scared to see them this way..im hurt actually. But i tink i hide it so well, that im also afraid that im not caring for them. They aren well at all you see.but they keep fighting. n me.who m i fighting for?. I dont do anyting for them. All i do is sit n watch as they suffer. And i bury my own feelings in. Part of me wans to escape. to leave so i wouldn have to see all this. But i cant. They r family. But i know that 1 ting i reali wan is to sing, make music, spread love n peace through them. Another, its to go around the world helping people. 2 aims in life. But how do i fufill them wen my own family is like tis?. U all might b wondering wads wrong wif me. Just got a little hurt today, n everyting came back at once u know..Sometimes u have to tell tings out..some of it anyway. not the details. But yeah the vague outlook of it. 'A man has to tend to his own garden'..Well im not sexist so it can b 'A woman too has to tend to her own garden'. We all keep secrets. We all keep stuff we nvr tell any1 else. Dont tell me it isn true mates, coz u know it is. Thats y wen u open up to some1..even for a bit, u become weak. Bcoz u pour out ur soul to them. They have the power to hurt u, bcoz they become part of you. Thats why i dont tell every1 everyting..every1 sees part of me. Some see more of me tan most. But theres always a wall around me u know..N if i have to, i can b almost totally emotionless.Talk bout a portable defence system. But wad happens wen the wall crumbles. Coz it did. Wad happens wen u get hurt so often, u put up a wall around urself, u let a few people closer to u, but the wall just breaks?.N this fear is one of the greatest of all. Lord help me. But He will. I wont fall. i know i ain much compared to those amazing people who can find happiness even in sorrow, but life has taught me better than to just sit down and grovel. I will face everything He wants me to face. Coz how else, can i get stronger?

Moral of the story - dont try to change urself, u would go horribly wrong

Poem Shark

This one's for my fren lekshmi (champion!)haha..she asked me to write a poem for her, n i figured out y not..its been a long time since i wrote so bear wif me..

A pretty face,
out of the blue,
she has a taste,
for the poetry i do,
so she stalks,
me for a rhyme,
this poem shark,
friend of mine,
so i pray for luck,
and start writing some lines,
coz its been a long time,
since i spoke my mind,
But il try it anyway,
this one's for a beauty so fine,
with a smile, each day,
ever ready,
to shine,
a young lady,
headstrong and steady,
her soul caring and kind,
willing to hear me out,
whenever that devil Trouble,
cripples and binds,
me all over, throughout,
coz with her humour,
everything else fades, everything else,
it blinds,
with laughter, coming so easy,
i forget the clock and its chimes,
but hold on a sec im thinking,
what else i can say without faking,
coz the words are running out,
so i pray and im hoping,
n they come back flowing,
when i realise i left her voice out,
Its sweet, its clear,
even in that short moment,
it was never loud,
giving those who hear,
a good cheer,
This young woman,
her resounding laughter,
a beautiful sound,
all this making her,
This Poem Shark,
unlike any other,
to be found.

Godlover

Daemon

This one is bout the dark inside, the dark with a pride, but i dont think i wrote well enough, coz im sick with a flu and cough, doctors actually suspect its swine flu, they even gave me tamiflu..can u say cool?..haha anyway hope its good..

No longer inside,
No reason, to hide,
always out of sight,
No more, he wants,
to fight,
maim, kill, bite,
and show the world his might,
set it on fire, alight,
The power breaks free,
The wings burst out,
his rage burns,
he screams, he shouts,
everything else,
burns away,
its just him and,
his rage today,
his eyes fill blood,
his fire like a flood,
immortality his blade,
feared he be, coz feared were,
those he slayed,
insanity he raised,
it cannot rest,
it cannot be laid,
it fuels his rage,
even as he rips,
apart the cage,
The daemon unleashed,
unmatched, unswayed,
he keeps coming,
no path left, unrazed,
hell for those who,
who cross his way,
would seem tamer,
then death by his blade,
But then he stops,
he waits,
there is another,
he needs to break,
his own heart,
before fully enraged,
so he waits,
even as his heart,
spins another cage,
a cage, he would,
again break

Godlover

People

People surprise me, everday
the little things they do,
the little things they say,
it belies how they look,
puts them in a different way,
so much niceness in a person,
if only people stopped to listen,
took time to reason,
and peeled the outer skin away,
coz everybody is good inside,
at least a little pure,
a little white,
thats what i always say,
You know thats true,
even those who have hated you,
they are still human too,
You just need to find,
the way to get through,
what do you have to prove,
by trying to make them rue?,
they have their own troubles,
their own woes too,
so take a walk,
in their shoes,
before you talk,
hurt and bruise,
Dont blow your fuse,
Dont refuse,
when peace comes calling,
that you choose,
dont even think of abuse,
play by the rules,
coz everyone is good inside,
we just need to look deep down,
and choose,
to be nice, to be true,
that goes for both,
Me and You

Godlover

Back again

Its time to unwind,
time to write a rhyme,
You start with one line,
words taken from the mind,
heartfelt emotions,
You then bind,
taken from inspirations,
You find,
It could be,
the girl you pined for,
or those who treated you kind,
the life you worked for,
or your youth, your prime,
The things that made you roar,
or times when you whined,
the rain, the downpour,
a personal favourite of mine,
Then theres God the all pure,
a perfection so fine,
and the tales of His lore,
which stretch beyond time,
coz without His might,
I wouldn even write,
not with everything,
squeezing me so tight,
Id go all wrong,
not knowing whats right,
like being blind,
even with perfect sight,
so i thank Him again tonight,
for giving me strength to fight,
enabling me to scale,
greater heights,
even among dimming lights,
with the gifts He gave me,
always at my side,
so hang on alright,
im back,
after a brief respite,
my words again,
like dynamite,
burning through,
the shadows where i hide,
as long as His will in me,
shining, forever Bright

Godlover

my fortress, my prison,

When the walls,
start closing in,
i stand tall,
and wear the stone,
like second skin,
nothing can get in,
but nothing can get out,
tats y none can hear,
my shouts,
no matter how loud,
Ive sealed myself in,
an impregnable fortress,
nothing can get within,
without breaking first,
thats how its always been,
coz strong i be must,
in this world of sin,
to get through obstacles past,
to succeed, to win,
but now im pinned,
to this curse,
I, my own tartarus,
my emotions,
freedom they thirst,
but my fortress,
my prison,
it keeps them in,
till the walls may burst,
from within,
a way out of myself,
i am seeking,
but theres no valve, even,
and i keep praying,
my sanity,
from being taken,
before i lose it, completely,
and lay broken,
so hear my plea,
as my skies darken,
My Lord harken,
fill me,
up with energy,
to fly again,
high and free,
like the mighty falcon,
above any sea,
thats shaken, and
my will restored,
reawakened.

Godlover

i wrote tis one in class..pretty short though..not sure wen but i knew it was last week..was reali insecure, n i guess i still m sometimes..

Im scared,
of losing my poetry,
so Lord help me,
make me see,
You and me,
forever, together,
we make,
beautiful poetry.

i wrote this one after that..was thinking how people always praise the moon..so i thought of writing one that contradicts all that instead and have a little fun..

I stood in my room,
Looking at the moon,
shining,
thinking its time,
i started rhyming,
the moon, and how,
its been lying, coz
we praise the moon,
for what it has,
beauty,
taken from the sun's flares,
like a pauper,
a king's cloak he wears,
it may fit,
but it will tear,
coz the sun's responsibility,
the moon cannot bear,
giving life,
to this world we share,
But we dont care,
we think its true,
the moon and the,
lies it tells you,
stealing from the sun,
taking his light,
for its own,
this robbery, going on,
all year round,
every night, till
dawn is born,
Yet we dont see,
we tink its sweet,
when lovers swoon,
over the moon,
making it tunes and songs,
But i tell you,
we've got it all wrong,
its the sun,
this raw white force,
that deserves applause,
coz should it pause,
even for a second,
our lives would be lost,
without even,
time to repent,
lands by chaos shaken,
and turned to dust,
leaving nothing to last,
even the moon, its phase,
so lets praise,
the sun instead,
without it,
the moon's just,
another dark,
pimpled face

Godlover

If Mine, then Forever

Im lonely, yearning,
for some company,
not friends,
i have many,
Im talking bout the one,
who would always,
stick by me,
laughing, even when,
others dont see,
the humour in me,
her smile,
would light up my day,
keeping all other,
temptations, at bay,
one whose inner beauty shines,
intellectual, or maybe just,
a little lively of mind,
of course, hers should be,
a heart thats kind,
a unflawed diamond,
she would be to me,
if i find,
such a woman,
forever to be mine,
Id never hurt her,
Id never lie,
coz if i see her tear,
il start to cry,
her imperfections,
i would ignore,
coz im not perfect myself,
and she would know,
so id always try,
to keep my tandrum low,
always carrying her,
through life's blows,
following her,
wherever her heart may,
choose to go,
even if it means,
my own sorrow,
coz no matter wad,
her sins,
my love for her,
would only grow,
So if ur the one for me,
hearing this,
hope u got the gist,
of this love list,
Il treat u like a queen,
i promise u this,
sealed forever,
with my kiss.

Godlover

The Lord taught,

My Lord, taught me
something today,
by making my aunt say,
i pray,
the wrong way,
and i got mad,
coz i love,
my Lord alot,
so i fought,
she said i should pray at home,
in the prayer room,
i said the Lord was free to roam,
and couldn b contained,
even in ancient runes,
much less a room,
she replied i should do as told,
i told her i would not fold,
the Lord's in my heart,
driving out the cold,
il worship Him anywhere,anyway
i want,
coz i see Him,
in the rising sun,
in children, carefree
having fun,
in the determination,
when athletes run,
in the eyes of those starving,
clamouring for half a bun,
even death,
point blank through a gun,
is Him in disguise,
making sure our time is done,
its just that, people
dont realise,
except the wise, that
The Lord's too big,
to fit any size,
only revealed,
through hearts,
pure and nice,
So all you guys,
out there,
never fear, coz
He is here,
He is there,
always everywhere,
coz the whole universe,
is His lair,
His love, for us,
forever to share,
But my aunt dint care,
she made a big fuss, saying
worship in the prayer room,
is a must,
and that my love for Him,
wouldn last,
if i did not pray,
as she would entrust,
and i got mad, no
more like disturbed and sad,
and i wanted to,
start another row,
but then i realised,
y dont i just pray as she asked?
Bcoz i hardly pray in the prayer room,
n i haven done it anytime soon,
so if the Lord is everywhere,
He is inside there too, i
in my arrogance, neglected,
The Lord living in my own home, true,
n felt like such a fool,
regretting losing my cool,
realising the Lord,
had taught me something,
through my aunt His tool,
and even though,
i realised i was wrong,
it only increased my love,
for him, forever strong,
both in my heart,
and through this song.

Godlover

Beautiful Creed

Im this rapper Hybrid,
my words,
they have this beat,
can u feel it,
wen u read,
even without music,
to blast the streets,
my lines,
music in its seed,
coz music is the language,
i breathe,
its my belief,
its my creed,
that the Lord gave this to me,
giving life,
to emotions i feel,
writing it down,
keeping it real,
working hard,
never to bail,
showing the world,
that it aint just another tale,
i wont quail, i wont fail,
il struggle even through,
the toughest gale,
coz my heart's stronger,
than the average nail,
and nothings gona stop,
these words that sail,
with this rhythm into ur mind,
i aint lying,
just give me more time,
Even my critics,
would bcome fans of my rhymes,
So to all those out there,
ready to whine,
talking bad,
right behind,
putting up a front,
like everythings fine,
one day id start to shine,
and u wishing,
u weren unkind,
those of you, hating me,
those that i,
just cant see,
know this now,
however you be,
il never give up,
my beautiful creed,
Coz the Lord,
His love i keep,
leading me,
even through,
the darkest sea.

Godlover

I dont know

I dont know wad Im doing,
I dont know where to go,
I dont know when Il be singing,
on my own show,
I dont know why Im like this,
Maybe madness is taking control,
But I think life's getting hopeless,
Yeah man Im on a high low,
Now Im thinking how to stop it,
Before I lose it completely,
Trying hard to avoid death's kiss,
Before things cant be changed permanently,
Bcoz theres too many things to do,
and i just cant afford to go,
its not bout me,
its the rest I care for,
my family's like this barren land,
Water I have to pour,
Coz for all they have done,
i owe them forever more,
Then this I would do,
for myself, just one,
going around the world,
helping everyone,
Spreading smiles,
priceless pearls,
But all this, is
taking too long to unfurl,
denying my bliss,
leaving me pissed,
even a little deranged,
coz this lack of purpose,
right now,
would leave even u insane,
the same way,
it gives me much pain
and songwriting,
is all i have that gets me away,
while singing gives me pleasure,
mesmerising in its own way, both
getting me through each day,
while the Lord,
man i got nothing to say,
He has been there for me,
even when i dint pray,
I know it would,
always stay that way,
He would never, go away,
Coz if he did, id be dead,
even after ive passed away,
wishing i dint exist,
wherever my soul would lay,
so i ask him, even among my,
mindless disarray,
that i would love Him,
as much as my heart may,
and keep the evil,
forever at bay.

Godlover

Insecurity

Ive got this little insecurity,
a nagging fear,
consuming me at times totally,
a little paranoid,
maybe its just my own mentality,
And i dono how to stop this,
scared it will turn to reality,
coz it isn an ordinary fear,
its not bout my life,
or my weeping tears,
its bout this gift i have,
rearranging letters,
n im scared i wont get any better,
il make it better known, of
wad i mean,
im scared il lose my poetry,
i know it sounds silly,
but just bear wif me,
it isn at all easy,
being me,
coz ive got too many things,
on my mind,
to be thinking free,
and this song writing is all i have,
its my only living spree, and
its the onli ting i wana be,
doing for the rest of my life,
besides singing,
songs that tell no lies,
so yeah u would see how,
important it is to me
the ability to heave emotions,
out of my chest,
putting it into words,
properly,
before the idea,
flees totally,
coz if i dont, i swear it would burst,
and id start to feel cursed,
feeling id rather be dead,
coz poetry, singing is where,
my happiness is made,
so i seek help from beyond,
The Lord, whom from all,
poetry was born,
i just ask Him to stay wif me,
forever more,
coz as long as He stays,
id keep up this lyrical show,
and my happiness,
would always flow,
oh yeah, and bout asking just,
one thing,
i was just kidding,
theres probably lots more to go.

Godover

Temptation

Man im scared all over again,
coz ive succumbed,
to the temptation, yet again
Since the start it began,
Ive resisted it, a few times,
but mostly ive just,
fallen right in,
this deep dark pit, it keeps
me down and pinned,
i wish i could resist it,
completely,
coz its the onli way,
i would be free,
of this guilt, this feeling, of
debuachery,
it kills me, to be weak like tis,
coz i aint exactly,
ordinary,
ive scaled peaks,
personal highs already,
Mainly coz the Big guy, up there
is always shining on me,
So whats bothering me u ask?
i ain telling you,
coz u would,
just laugh,
but let me tell u,
it isn funny to me,
coz i take my temptations,
seriously, and
i know, one day,
they will be overcome,
coz il keep fighting,
never giving up,
till that day comes,
and i suggest,
u guys out there,
do it too,
coz yielding to ur,
temptations,
ain tat good for you.

Godlover

The Moonwalker

The moonwalker's dead,
y did he have to go,
before he gave his last show,
coz even at 50,
he was still slick,
who would have thought,
he would die sick,
even though he is gone,
he will b remebered forever,
the enigmatic moonwalker,
incredible dancer, and
soul rendering singer,
in short,
the ultimate performer,
he might have had his faults,
i do not know,
but he will b remembered,
in our hearts,
for giving us his awesome,
lyrical shows,
not onli did he mesmorise,
but he gave inspiration,
to many, so much tat,
he was idolised, in
nations plenty,
There will be never,
another like him,
tats for sure,
coz his songs, were
emotionally pure,
tat they made many cry,
when heard,
even though now,
his reign is over,
and we have to say goodbye,
He will never be, forgotten,
he will live on,
coz legends dont fade away,
they dont die,they stay on,
Michael,
through his songs.

R.I.P Michael jackson, my inspiration, friend to many.

Godlover